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Sunday, October 5th, 2014
10:18 am - CANCELED: KGB 27th Anniversary Party

With regret, we are announcing the cancellation of the 2015 KGB 27th Anniversary Party.

On the plus side, you’re free to book something else for mid-April.

Please accept our apologies for getting your hopes up and then dashing them into tiny pieces against jagged rocks.

We hope to try again for the 30th Anniversary in 2018.

If you have questions, please drop a note to kgb@laefer.com

The Committee for Planning/Canceling Anniversary Parties (a/k/a Gosplan)

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Saturday, April 19th, 2014
11:09 am - KGB 27th Anniversary Party

KGB members of the past, present (and future?):

This coming year represents a very special time for your favorite CMU organization - the 27th anniversary of KGB's founding! To celebrate KGB's lack of self-destruction for so many years (the atomic number of cobalt), we're having another major party next year at Spring Carnival on April 17th to 19th, 2015. You, as someone who we think is a member, defector, hanger-on, or dissident, are invited to join us!

If you think you may be interested in showing up (or if you never want to hear from us again), please let us know at http://tinyurl.com/kgb27-checkin . Information entered there is non-binding and will be kept strictly confidential. It will only be viewed by our corporate overlords and Jay Laefer, Master of the Reunion Planning and Keeper of Secrets.

If you have recently found any long-missing defectors, please forward this to them and encourage them to fill out the check-in form.

If you want more information, read on! (If you've clicked the above links and are perfectly happy to wait six months for more information, you can stop reading. You can also stop reading if you're a youngun with no attention span who likes to write TL;DR. In that case, you should also get off our lawn.)

Some of you old people may remember a similar event happening about six years ago for KGB's 20th anniversary. That was generally considered a success, and we expect the new one to have at least superficial similarities (except, of course, that it's the 27th anniversary, which is the number of roads to El Dorado, according to ancient Incan culture). But we all know that the present is not as good as the past and KGB isn't the same organization it was 7 or 27 years ago, so there will undoubtedly be changes. (There will also probably be change. Thrown at people. You all know how that works.)

Overall, though, this in an incredible opportunity to see more KGB members than you can shake a stick at if you're not very good at shaking sticks. An opportunity to hear stories about the good old days, the terrible things we put up with during the famine times, and to find out which of the underground tour stories are actually true. An opportunity to hear reports from a line of officers stretching back into the dawn of time (or at least the early morning). An opportunity to irritate 27 years' worth of members with minutiae from Robert's Rules of Order.

In short, it promises to be a lot of fun and a great way to see how the organization you know and love has grown and progressed over the past 27 years (the number miles of steam tunnels under CMU). All you have to do to help is show up. (Well, it'd also be nice if you could let us know you're showing up.)

Quick recap:
1) Please check in at http://tinyurl.com/kgb27-checkin
2) Please forward this message to other KGB members, past and present
3) Send any questions to kgb@laefer.com

The Committee for Planning Anniversary Parties (a/k/a Gosplan)

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Monday, July 2nd, 2012
7:40 pm - Save the Date (2015)

(This may be the fourth copy of this message you read. If so, sorry about that, but you might want to think about all the myriad ways people contact you. Have you considered maybe streamlining your online presence?)

This is not a drill. Repeat: This is not a drill. In fact, it's a "save the date" announcement for the next KGB Anniversary Party, scheduled for Spring Carnival 2015 in Pittsburgh.

Although that's more than two and a half years from now, we learned a lot from organizing the 2008 KGB 20th Anniversary Party. Mostly, we learned that it takes a lot of time and energy and help from other people. (Many thanks to my co-conspirators last time, including Aleecia, Faye, Stiiv, Eeyore, Goob, Shawn, and many others I've forgotten to mention.)

It's ridiculously early, but we're posting here with two goals:

1) Gathering current e-mail addresses from members. Our list is 4 years old. That means it's missing everyone who joined after spring of 2008. And it means that some of the addresses we have are no longer valid.

2) Finding volunteers willing to help organize the party. We're especially in need of a couple people who expect to be living in Pittsburgh during the 2014-2015 school year.

So, please send e-mail to kgb@laefer.com with your preferred e-mail address and whether you're interested in helping organize the party.

The fine print:
* It's possible that your shame runs too deep to want to hear from us. If you'd like to be left alone, just send a quick reply, and your name will be stricken from the records (but not our memories).
* We respect your privacy, even if we don't respect your wardrobe. We won't share your e-mail addresses with anyone without your explicit permission.
* Google-stalking each of the 500+ past and present members takes a lot of time. Please drop us a line, even if you're absolutely sure that we've got your current address.

Many thanks,

-Jay Laefer,
KGB Co-Founder
Toys 'R' Us Kid

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Wednesday, October 12th, 2011
8:49 am - Occupy Wall Street

If you're interested in Occupy Wall Street, please share my recent blog post with your friends. I want to get this spread as widely as possible as quickly as possible. Thanks in advance for your help.



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Thursday, August 26th, 2010
12:28 am - Potential CtFwS Dates

 Greetings, comrades! As many of you may know, the semester has recently begun, and with it comes many things - chief among them being homework! But somewhere in that large, unpleasant mass of obligations is a beautiful thing called "capture the flag with stuff", and it is time to determine when it will be. After consulting with the giant head of John Lennon, we have come up with two possible dates for it: October 8th and November 5th.

Since we are too damn busy to have it on both of those days, we're letting you, the people (especially the defectors who need to arrange travel and other inconvenient things) tell us which one of these dates works best for you. We were going to use knifehamsters, but the last one died soon after elections. Let the games begin!

-Zach "it was either him or Sylvester Stallone" Sparks

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Wednesday, March 17th, 2010

Hey there,
The JCCP and The Hollywood Theater will be shooting a commercial this Saturday, March 20th at Rocky Horror.

If you haven't been to a show yet, that's foolish, and make it out this weekend to be a part of Pittsburgh Rocky Horror history.

Come in your finest, fanciest fishnets, or the crappy, beat to hell corset you bought at Goodwill - either works.

Just come out and celebrate with the JCCP the beginning of spring time. Let's break 150 this show!!!

~ Jordan
Pres, the JCCP

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Monday, February 15th, 2010
10:49 pm - Pillar of Fire Purim Party


If anyone's interested in attending a Purim
party in Pittsburgh with belly dancers, fire spinning and fire eating, among other festivities, full details are at http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=341486350434 . (Figured I'd keep this announcement short and sweet this year... Apologies for the cross-posting anyway though.)

Posted via LiveJournal.app.

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Wednesday, January 20th, 2010
3:13 pm - Shock Treatment and Rocky Horror THIS SATURDAY in Dormont, PA!

Pittsburgh's Junior Chamber of Commerce Players present... SHOCK TREATMENT AND THE ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW!

The ultimate science fiction-double feature.

Shock Treatment:
A young couple appear on a campy game show called "Marriage Maze," and the result is as bizarre as it is disastrous. The show's lecherous host abducts the young woman, and sends her boyfriend to an insane asylum.

Rocky Horror Picture Show:
Brad Majors and his fiance Janet Weiss stumble upon the castle of Dr. Frank-N-Furter, a transvestite who is holding the annual convention of visitors from the planet Transsexual. Frank unveils his creation, a young man named Rocky Horror, who fears the doctor and rejects his sexual advances. When Frank announces that he is returning to the galaxy Transylvania, Riff Raff the butler and Magenta the maid declare that they have plans of their own.

Tickets are only $6 per film and The Hollywood is, as always, Pittsburgh's only BYOB theater. For this one, you're gonna need it...

Rocky Horror Cast List:
Frank-N-Furter: Chalupa
Riff Raff: Jordan McKinley
Magenta: Bettie D.
Columbia: Tina
Brad Majors: Oisin
Janet Weiss: Feelski
Rocky Horror: Teabag
Eddie/Dr. Scott: Jon
Criminologist: Sam
Trixie: Bettie D.

Shock Treatment Cast List:
Janet Majors - Feelski
Brad Majors - Jon
Farley Flavors - Sam
Cosmo McKinley - Jordan McKinley
Nation McKinley - Bettie D.
Judge Oliver Wright - Big Tom
Betty Hapschatt - Tina
Nurse Ansalong - Chalupa
"Rest Home" Ricky - Oisin
Bert Schnick - Little Gay Scott of the Satanic Mechanics
Emily Weiss - Jacob of the Satanic Mechanics
Harry Weiss - Sheffo?
Ralph Hapschatt - Teabag
Macy Struthers - Paris Hilton
Neely Pritt - Nicole
Vance Parker - Jake 1
Oscar Drill - Kev J.B. of Simply His Servants
Glish Davidson - Kial of the Satanic Mechanics
Brenda Drill - Ryan of Simply His Servants
Frankie - Ashleah of the Satanic Mechanics

We are still looking for the following roles:
Kirk the Coffee Guy
Bits drummer
Irwin Lapsey, president of Lapsey Autos

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Wednesday, July 1st, 2009

So it's been ages since I've been to a KGB event, probably to the point of many of you don't know me, but this is a call out for help to everyone.

I'm directing a short film titled A Nightmare on the Town.  It's a werewolf biker film that we're shooting all over the greater Pittsburgh area, but come next tuesday night, the 7th of July, I need monsters.  Like a shit ton of monsters.  Here's the craigslist posting I made.  If any of you guys can come out and help, please do so and it will be greatly appreciated!!


Any and all kinds of fantastical movie monsters are needed to fill in a party scene at the DUQUESNE INCLINE on TUESDAY JULY 7TH.

This is a non-paying gig, but there will be food and drink provided, and you'll have the opportunity to get credit on an independent film.

We'll be shooting Tuesday July 7th. Call for actors to get into makeup is at 7, call for actors already in makeup is 8:30. We start shooting the second the sun goes down. You must provide your own costume, but depending on the type of monster, we may be able to assist with makeup.

If you're interested, contact nightmareonthetown@gmail.com and we'll hopefully get back to you same day.

Oh but please, no zombies? There are just too many damn zombies in Pittsburgh. No vampires either. I'm going to punch that Edward guy in the face."

~ Jordan

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Sunday, June 7th, 2009
11:33 pm - Nifty human looking for roommates in Pittsburgh

[Cross-posted to cslounge]

Greetings, Pittsburghers!

As many of you know, I have long been on a quest to cause the CMU and Boston-area communities of which I am a part to collide head-on due to strong suspicions that the resulting interactions will result in much awesomeness. (I remain hopeful that these collisions need not occur at relativistic velocities.) Pursuant to this, I'd like to introduce a friend of mine from Massachusetts who just got accepted into a grad program at Tepper for the fall, and is looking for housing. She indicated a desire to live with awesome people, so I thought I would post here and hope that someone reading this is similarly looking for housing, or (better yet) looking for a roommate.

Here's her description of who she is and what she's looking for:

Really all I'm looking for in housemates is at least one other girl, medium on the clean scale (I can lean more towards clean if necessary, but prefer not super dirty), who will respect "I need to study, seriously, I really do" as "don't bother me, also keep house noise to a minimum if possible". Video games and TV are still good, but, you know, don't have an impromptu house party. Must be cool with my boyfriend coming to visit somewhat regularly. I like cats. I like dogs less. Would tolerate the right dog.

People willing to go in on a CSA box are super-extra-bonus, I know there is one that delivers to campus. I really, really like cooking. I also like Doctor Who, Torchwood, Heroes, sci-fi/fantasy reading (especially Neil Gaiman, Robin McKinely, and Patricia Briggs). I'm a moderator for a Question and Answer website, which anyone I live with would inevitably hear about. I'm totally pleased that Fox renewed Dollhouse over Sarah Connor Chronicles, sorry Terminator fans.

I don't have an opinion on if people should hang out in their rooms or shared spaces. I do like having roommate dinners every so often. Don't touch my laptop if you want to keep your fingers. Unless I give you permission. I'm way better about it now that I used to be, though. I think I'm really pretty easy going. I'm friendly and can generally get along with most people.

If you're interested, please reply to this post or email me at [my LJ username] at Gmail, and I will get you in touch.

Paid for by the Ad-hoc Committee to Forcibly Merge Brian's Social Circles.

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Sunday, May 17th, 2009
2:47 pm - Sherbrook is calling you!

Dear KGB community,

Short story: Sherbrook needs five good men (or women!) to take over its lease for $250 a month per person. Sublease opportunities for the summer available as well!

We need to know *very soon*, so please contact us if you think this could work out -- this could be the deal for you!!!!

Long story:

For the last 7 years, a house known as "Sherbrook" has been home to KGB folks, lovingly cherished and carefully handed down from generation to generation. It has been described as a "fraggle yurt of love", a title that only *begins* to hint at the brotherly affection and sense of community contained therein. It has been celebrated in song and story -- who can forget the wistful, "How I wish I was in Sherbrook now!", the forlorn lament of the last of Barrett's privateers? Who can forget the "embarassing stories about Trevor" tale of Trevor's noogie-ing at the hands of Bill Murray -- "Who's gonna believe you??" ? Truly, this is the stuff that history is made of!

Yet even after 7 generations, the tradition threatens to die -- unless someone is sufficiently belatedly desperate for housing that they can step up and revive this house of lore. All that's needed is for you and your 4 closest friends (or 3, or 2 -- depending on how much you care to pay!) to sign a lease. For as little as $250 a month, you could join the illustrious ranks of such KGB luminaries as:

- Former president and king of the Jews, Akiva,
- Former second veep and organizer of KGB Puzzle Hunt, Chrisamaphone,
- Former sergeant at arms and artist extraordinaire, Lea,
- Former recsec of legend who can totally beat up Chuck Norris, edanaher,
- Former 1vp/corsec and bird-elf, m"The Prettiest"kehrt,
- Three girls whose names begin with Y,
- and many more...

How much would you pay to live in a house so steeped in history and tradition? A thousand dollars? *Ten* thousand dollars? Really, who can put a price on history? But sign up today for the low low price of only $250 per person per month*, and it could all be yours!

Need a place to stay for just the summer? Sublease opportunities are available as well. Move in tommorow, stay through July, take over the lease? The options are endless. Just contact Lea and Chris (lea@,cmartens@) and start negotiations today.

History and tradition: no longer the sole preserve of the extremely rich. Live the dream! Live the legacy... Live Sherbrook!


On behalf of the ad-hoc committee to promote Sherbrook history and tradition

* - assuming 5 people. One current housemate might be convinced to stay for
the fall semester, but will be leaving in the Spring. Fewer than 5 people
will still pay pretty darn little (($1250 + utilities) / # of people, per month).

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Thursday, April 16th, 2009
2:57 pm - Event: Old people and Cake!

What: Old people and Cake!
When: Saturday 4/18/09 3 pm
Where: PH 100
Why: Why not?
How: With cake (and some lies)

Sorry I have been Boothing but now that's all up so I can definitively say that Old
People and Cake is not simply a community service event but in fact a fun event
where the younguns get to meet the classic members of KGB and hear back in the day
stories intermixed with telling us that we're doing it wrong. The last part is
mostly false but the rest of it is true.

Elizabeth M. Hohenstein
"fostering fellowship"

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Monday, April 13th, 2009
8:58 pm - You know my platform.

Vote johnson6 for President, because of spite.

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9:31 pm - labbott for EXEC!

I don't know if any active members actually use this community but I'll post until some old person tells me to get off the lawn!


Hi there KGB! It is I, Laura a.k.a. labbott! I am running for exec again this year.
There are many reasons why you should vote for me. Here is an itemized list for your

1) I have experience! I was your treasurer this year and successfully handled your
money. I know how KGB beauracracy works. Heck, my name is already on the bank

2) I can be loud and control people! I may be quiet at times but I can be loud and
full of energy when it counts. Like directing you guys! Or herding cats!

3) I'm responsible! I do stuff when asked! I try really really hard not to forget
but when I do, I still do stuff when gently prodded (prefereably with something that
is not very hot or high voltage)

4) I want to do awesome things! KGB is supposed to be fun! I want people to have fun
and do awesome things within the constraints of our budget!

5) I want to do awesome things that YOU want to do! KGB should be about what many
different members want, which may mean new and exciting things! I like new, I like

6) I like duckies! (Hehehe duckies) And other fuzzy animals. baby animals are
awesome. =^.^=

7) I want meetings to be fun! Random committee ideas that amuse people + a small
amount of rules wankery = more satisfaction for your meetings

8) I'm not perfect! But I will listen to people and try and do my best to get done
what needs to be done.

9) I'm not on fire!

10) Events are fun! I like to show up to events and have a good time and talk to
people. Social interaction may be scary but KGB makes it fun!

11) I'll be amusing, but only if you want me to. This platform isn't my most amusing
work because I'm trying to make it semi-serious (serious business etc.) And if I'm
not amusing you can tell me to stop and I will!

12) I play well with others. It said so on my Kindergarten report card. I still
can't color inside the lines though.

13) I have a car. This is useful for schleping stuff around.

14) I only abuse the English language sometimes. But I know how babby is formed

15) Seafoam green is an awesome color. But I won't make KGB do anything with it ever
again unless we get an angry mob demanding so.

16) I come up with horrible/awesome ideas everyday!

tl;dr KGB is awesome. I love this organization I want to do my part to make it even
more awesomeer.

I could go on and on but this is getting long enough. You should talk to me and ask
me more about why I should be elected. I may post another more amusing platform if I
come up with something more worth posting.

So vote for labbott! because she would be spiffy on exec!

(This platform was written on a lack of sleep and a lack of food. I should
really remember to eat dinner. Food: it's a good time (tm))

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Sunday, April 5th, 2009
11:33 pm - Kgb.com

Have you guys seen www.kgb.com ? Pretty cool...

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Sunday, March 1st, 2009
5:11 pm - Purim: Festival of Holy Intoxication!

Come one, come all, to a night of festivity, revelry and merriment at
Your Inner Vagabond in Lawrenceville, PA, hosted by the Pillar of
Fire, Pittsburgh's only officially condemned (by the rabbinic council)
heretical Jewish group. Bring your best alcohol, drums, songs, magic,
stories and fun people to share with everyone. (This party is 21+.)

Click to read more...Collapse )

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Friday, February 27th, 2009
2:30 pm - Need [Pittsburgh] housing?

Jcreed and I have a spot open in our place at 5153 Fifth Ave. (corner with Wilkins). It's the first floor of a duplex; we have two bathrooms, a kitchen, a dining room, and a living room.

We're looking for anyone who needs housing starting any time between now and august, but we'll prefer an arrangement where we don't end up having a long vacancy.

If interested, send mail to gwillen@nerdnet.org and jcreed@andrew.cmu.edu.

By all means tell your friends, but preference will go to people we know.

X-posted: gwillen

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Wednesday, January 7th, 2009
7:07 pm - Note for Copyright and Coup d'Etat

Have you guys seen the ads for this? I'm sure it's a promo for something, like a TV show, but...


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Monday, December 1st, 2008
2:40 am - Marzipan poll, as advertised in the latest Pravda?

Poll #1307095 Marzipan

Are YOU gay for marzipan?

Maybe, if it's really good marzipan...

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Wednesday, October 15th, 2008
10:57 pm - Psych Night at the Geller Hotel: Interactive puzzle event!

This semester, KGB's puzzle hunt will be slightly different from what we've done in the past. We're calling it an Interactive Puzzle Event: Psych Night at the Geller Hotel! It will take place on November 1.

For more information, http://www.gellerhotel.com/event .

To register your team of four (or whoever you have), http://www.gellerhotel.com/register.html .

For questions, event@gellerhotel.com .

If you like the sound of our event, post about it on your LJ, so we can get more players! :-)

X-posted: gwillen, cmukgb

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