• ocnn

CANCELED: KGB 27th Anniversary Party

With regret, we are announcing the cancellation of the 2015 KGB 27th Anniversary Party.

On the plus side, you’re free to book something else for mid-April.

Please accept our apologies for getting your hopes up and then dashing them into tiny pieces against jagged rocks.

We hope to try again for the 30th Anniversary in 2018.

If you have questions, please drop a note to

The Committee for Planning/Canceling Anniversary Parties (a/k/a Gosplan)
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KGB 27th Anniversary Party

KGB members of the past, present (and future?):

This coming year represents a very special time for your favorite CMU organization - the 27th anniversary of KGB's founding! To celebrate KGB's lack of self-destruction for so many years (the atomic number of cobalt), we're having another major party next year at Spring Carnival on April 17th to 19th, 2015. You, as someone who we think is a member, defector, hanger-on, or dissident, are invited to join us!

If you think you may be interested in showing up (or if you never want to hear from us again), please let us know at . Information entered there is non-binding and will be kept strictly confidential. It will only be viewed by our corporate overlords and Jay Laefer, Master of the Reunion Planning and Keeper of Secrets.

If you have recently found any long-missing defectors, please forward this to them and encourage them to fill out the check-in form.

If you want more information, read on! (If you've clicked the above links and are perfectly happy to wait six months for more information, you can stop reading. You can also stop reading if you're a youngun with no attention span who likes to write TL;DR. In that case, you should also get off our lawn.)

Some of you old people may remember a similar event happening about six years ago for KGB's 20th anniversary. That was generally considered a success, and we expect the new one to have at least superficial similarities (except, of course, that it's the 27th anniversary, which is the number of roads to El Dorado, according to ancient Incan culture). But we all know that the present is not as good as the past and KGB isn't the same organization it was 7 or 27 years ago, so there will undoubtedly be changes. (There will also probably be change. Thrown at people. You all know how that works.)

Overall, though, this in an incredible opportunity to see more KGB members than you can shake a stick at if you're not very good at shaking sticks. An opportunity to hear stories about the good old days, the terrible things we put up with during the famine times, and to find out which of the underground tour stories are actually true. An opportunity to hear reports from a line of officers stretching back into the dawn of time (or at least the early morning). An opportunity to irritate 27 years' worth of members with minutiae from Robert's Rules of Order.

In short, it promises to be a lot of fun and a great way to see how the organization you know and love has grown and progressed over the past 27 years (the number miles of steam tunnels under CMU). All you have to do to help is show up. (Well, it'd also be nice if you could let us know you're showing up.)

Quick recap:
1) Please check in at
2) Please forward this message to other KGB members, past and present
3) Send any questions to

The Committee for Planning Anniversary Parties (a/k/a Gosplan)
  • ocnn

Save the Date (2015)

(This may be the fourth copy of this message you read. If so, sorry about that, but you might want to think about all the myriad ways people contact you. Have you considered maybe streamlining your online presence?)

This is not a drill. Repeat: This is not a drill. In fact, it's a "save the date" announcement for the next KGB Anniversary Party, scheduled for Spring Carnival 2015 in Pittsburgh.

Although that's more than two and a half years from now, we learned a lot from organizing the 2008 KGB 20th Anniversary Party. Mostly, we learned that it takes a lot of time and energy and help from other people. (Many thanks to my co-conspirators last time, including Aleecia, Faye, Stiiv, Eeyore, Goob, Shawn, and many others I've forgotten to mention.)

It's ridiculously early, but we're posting here with two goals:

1) Gathering current e-mail addresses from members. Our list is 4 years old. That means it's missing everyone who joined after spring of 2008. And it means that some of the addresses we have are no longer valid.

2) Finding volunteers willing to help organize the party. We're especially in need of a couple people who expect to be living in Pittsburgh during the 2014-2015 school year.

So, please send e-mail to with your preferred e-mail address and whether you're interested in helping organize the party.

The fine print:
* It's possible that your shame runs too deep to want to hear from us. If you'd like to be left alone, just send a quick reply, and your name will be stricken from the records (but not our memories).
* We respect your privacy, even if we don't respect your wardrobe. We won't share your e-mail addresses with anyone without your explicit permission.
* Google-stalking each of the 500+ past and present members takes a lot of time. Please drop us a line, even if you're absolutely sure that we've got your current address.

Many thanks,

-Jay Laefer,
KGB Co-Founder
Toys 'R' Us Kid

Potential CtFwS Dates

 Greetings, comrades! As many of you may know, the semester has recently begun, and with it comes many things - chief among them being homework! But somewhere in that large, unpleasant mass of obligations is a beautiful thing called "capture the flag with stuff", and it is time to determine when it will be. After consulting with the giant head of John Lennon, we have come up with two possible dates for it: October 8th and November 5th.

Since we are too damn busy to have it on both of those days, we're letting you, the people (especially the defectors who need to arrange travel and other inconvenient things) tell us which one of these dates works best for you. We were going to use knifehamsters, but the last one died soon after elections. Let the games begin!

-Zach "it was either him or Sylvester Stallone" Sparks


Hey there,
The JCCP and The Hollywood Theater will be shooting a commercial this Saturday, March 20th at Rocky Horror.

If you haven't been to a show yet, that's foolish, and make it out this weekend to be a part of Pittsburgh Rocky Horror history.

Come in your finest, fanciest fishnets, or the crappy, beat to hell corset you bought at Goodwill - either works.

Just come out and celebrate with the JCCP the beginning of spring time. Let's break 150 this show!!!

~ Jordan
Pres, the JCCP

Pillar of Fire Purim Party

If anyone's interested in attending a Purim
party in Pittsburgh with belly dancers, fire spinning and fire eating, among other festivities, full details are at . (Figured I'd keep this announcement short and sweet this year... Apologies for the cross-posting anyway though.)

Posted via

Shock Treatment and Rocky Horror THIS SATURDAY in Dormont, PA!

Pittsburgh's Junior Chamber of Commerce Players present... SHOCK TREATMENT AND THE ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW!

The ultimate science fiction-double feature.

Shock Treatment:
A young couple appear on a campy game show called "Marriage Maze," and the result is as bizarre as it is disastrous. The show's lecherous host abducts the young woman, and sends her boyfriend to an insane asylum.

Rocky Horror Picture Show:
Brad Majors and his fiance Janet Weiss stumble upon the castle of Dr. Frank-N-Furter, a transvestite who is holding the annual convention of visitors from the planet Transsexual. Frank unveils his creation, a young man named Rocky Horror, who fears the doctor and rejects his sexual advances. When Frank announces that he is returning to the galaxy Transylvania, Riff Raff the butler and Magenta the maid declare that they have plans of their own.

Tickets are only $6 per film and The Hollywood is, as always, Pittsburgh's only BYOB theater. For this one, you're gonna need it...

Rocky Horror Cast List:
Frank-N-Furter: Chalupa
Riff Raff: Jordan McKinley
Magenta: Bettie D.
Columbia: Tina
Brad Majors: Oisin
Janet Weiss: Feelski
Rocky Horror: Teabag
Eddie/Dr. Scott: Jon
Criminologist: Sam
Trixie: Bettie D.

Shock Treatment Cast List:
Janet Majors - Feelski
Brad Majors - Jon
Farley Flavors - Sam
Cosmo McKinley - Jordan McKinley
Nation McKinley - Bettie D.
Judge Oliver Wright - Big Tom
Betty Hapschatt - Tina
Nurse Ansalong - Chalupa
"Rest Home" Ricky - Oisin
Bert Schnick - Little Gay Scott of the Satanic Mechanics
Emily Weiss - Jacob of the Satanic Mechanics
Harry Weiss - Sheffo?
Ralph Hapschatt - Teabag
Macy Struthers - Paris Hilton
Neely Pritt - Nicole
Vance Parker - Jake 1
Oscar Drill - Kev J.B. of Simply His Servants
Glish Davidson - Kial of the Satanic Mechanics
Brenda Drill - Ryan of Simply His Servants
Frankie - Ashleah of the Satanic Mechanics

We are still looking for the following roles:
Kirk the Coffee Guy
Bits drummer
Irwin Lapsey, president of Lapsey Autos


So it's been ages since I've been to a KGB event, probably to the point of many of you don't know me, but this is a call out for help to everyone.

I'm directing a short film titled A Nightmare on the Town.  It's a werewolf biker film that we're shooting all over the greater Pittsburgh area, but come next tuesday night, the 7th of July, I need monsters.  Like a shit ton of monsters.  Here's the craigslist posting I made.  If any of you guys can come out and help, please do so and it will be greatly appreciated!!


Any and all kinds of fantastical movie monsters are needed to fill in a party scene at the DUQUESNE INCLINE on TUESDAY JULY 7TH.

This is a non-paying gig, but there will be food and drink provided, and you'll have the opportunity to get credit on an independent film.

We'll be shooting Tuesday July 7th. Call for actors to get into makeup is at 7, call for actors already in makeup is 8:30. We start shooting the second the sun goes down. You must provide your own costume, but depending on the type of monster, we may be able to assist with makeup.

If you're interested, contact and we'll hopefully get back to you same day.

Oh but please, no zombies? There are just too many damn zombies in Pittsburgh. No vampires either. I'm going to punch that Edward guy in the face."

~ Jordan
face, brian, beard needs a weed-whacker, cirth

Nifty human looking for roommates in Pittsburgh

[Cross-posted to cslounge]

Greetings, Pittsburghers!

As many of you know, I have long been on a quest to cause the CMU and Boston-area communities of which I am a part to collide head-on due to strong suspicions that the resulting interactions will result in much awesomeness. (I remain hopeful that these collisions need not occur at relativistic velocities.) Pursuant to this, I'd like to introduce a friend of mine from Massachusetts who just got accepted into a grad program at Tepper for the fall, and is looking for housing. She indicated a desire to live with awesome people, so I thought I would post here and hope that someone reading this is similarly looking for housing, or (better yet) looking for a roommate.

Here's her description of who she is and what she's looking for:

Really all I'm looking for in housemates is at least one other girl, medium on the clean scale (I can lean more towards clean if necessary, but prefer not super dirty), who will respect "I need to study, seriously, I really do" as "don't bother me, also keep house noise to a minimum if possible". Video games and TV are still good, but, you know, don't have an impromptu house party. Must be cool with my boyfriend coming to visit somewhat regularly. I like cats. I like dogs less. Would tolerate the right dog.

People willing to go in on a CSA box are super-extra-bonus, I know there is one that delivers to campus. I really, really like cooking. I also like Doctor Who, Torchwood, Heroes, sci-fi/fantasy reading (especially Neil Gaiman, Robin McKinely, and Patricia Briggs). I'm a moderator for a Question and Answer website, which anyone I live with would inevitably hear about. I'm totally pleased that Fox renewed Dollhouse over Sarah Connor Chronicles, sorry Terminator fans.

I don't have an opinion on if people should hang out in their rooms or shared spaces. I do like having roommate dinners every so often. Don't touch my laptop if you want to keep your fingers. Unless I give you permission. I'm way better about it now that I used to be, though. I think I'm really pretty easy going. I'm friendly and can generally get along with most people.

If you're interested, please reply to this post or email me at [my LJ username] at Gmail, and I will get you in touch.

Paid for by the Ad-hoc Committee to Forcibly Merge Brian's Social Circles.